"Sick"
Originally uploaded by The Kenneth Foundation
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Relevant Notes
03-19-09
1:34
Since Amy and I have left Oakland we've both missed the bay. Even though I never lived there and rather only visited a number of times within the last year I still feel it.
I spent all of today biking around Portland hitting downtown, the Pear district, and the Eliot district. Tomorrow is probably going to be the district I've always headed to the most in P-town: the Richmond and South Tabor district. For those who don't know, that is the district that Southeast Division Street runs through and also is the same area that the Artistery is around. Most of this is dependent on weather or not it rains or not.
Forecast says it will rain though.
--
While I was on the last bike ride of the day a thought occurred to me. I've been traveling since early November- almost five months- and it's something that not many people I know have done who are not in bands. Most of the cats I know are in an educational institution of some sort or work that leads them to be hindered from the nonsense they may want to pursue. Such as traveling. There are also many people (some I know, many I don't) who have developed a particular comfort in there lives that lead them not to pursue certain immediate or non-immediate goals. I'm going to be a bit around the radar on this.
It's apparent that, yes, going to school and finishing a degree is a big deal. It just is! You're expected to do it by the higher ups in your family, it's a societal expectation, it's a self concern that may give you a little voice that says "I need an education to be successful." Success being financially or maybe doing something you've always been fairly interested in that is a self goal for you. If you're into science then perhaps you want to discover some sciencey stuff; Humanitarian work maybe you want to help your community or Pakistani domestic abuse victims (if I stayed in London for longer I actually could have done something with that).
So you have this four year university degree you're going to work on and if you're on the right track you may be done with it by age twenty-two. Some people take a year off or a bit less than that to figure themselves out and what they might want to spend the next few years achieving. So given this, there is a pressure to stay in school and not mosey around.
I view school as a project at this point. I never considered it as that until the Summer of 2007 but it made sense after it happened. This summer was when I would have my AAS in computer programming (three programming certificates as well) and my depression would be at an incredible high, which led to be the beginnings of my very own existential crisis.
This is very important:
My ability initially leave was based off the fact that "I have nothing to lose." It was a very empowering feeling once realized that there was virtually nothing tethering me to anything.
I hardly had any friends who would call me (I recall my dear friend Bryant being about the only one), Jenn would be the only one to invite me to any events (mainly Friendship City shows), I didn't have a girlfriend, my depression was affecting my personal projects (if I didn't have to be anywhere I would lay in bed), and my academics were suffering dramatically.
Yet the "nothing to lose" may be empowering but it is out of a deeper feeling of being incredibly lonely and without the sense of belonging. I didn't see a change in what was happening between the beginning of the Summer and when I left after Halloween. This isn't just a feeling but more of quick question based off of deductive logic that if people don't want to hang out with this guy, Kenneth, then does this Kenneth character have any solid friends.
My initial departure was supposed to be something where I just tell the few close friends I have/had in Bellingham that I was leaving indefinitely. This was the plan until dearest Jenn said, "You can't just leave and not tell your friends!" which was then immediately followed by a guilty silence on my part then an change of heart and conversation on that change of heart. I then told a few more people I was leaving and figured that somehow others would find out and resume with there lives. There were a couple of people I didn't get the chance to tell personally- that I did feel bad about- but that just happens.
Then I left, started writing about it, and I imagine that I can assure that life has gradually become better. Aspects of my return and what I have discovered upon my return challenge that but to debatable degrees depending on which variables I may be referring to.
I'm still hopping around because I still don't have anything holding me down. Yet the prospect of coming back to a town that I've grown to opposite admire is not the least bit gleeful of prospects. I see it as a decent back into the nonsense that I bid farewell to in hopes that what I left would work itself out as I would develop from my journey or at least my return might be a good one. We'll see how it rolls out.
I hopped of topic a bit but... Essentially the way I've done this entire travel/enlightenment thing was based of several variables. Circumstance/chance being a big player along with not having any social tethers. You can quit a job or school when you want; It's just paperwork and goodbye's. Someone I know when to Peru for the fall and was able to achieve and follow through with that journey. Whatever way that she was able to do that worked. So already there are two ways to do this traveling thing. One is described in pieced summation and another is unknown but at least something. Probably more ways to get up and go.
--
Traveling around the country (or countries) is grand because you meet people. That's obvious but what makes it grand is keeping those connections with those individuals even after you're no longer with them. Why? Because if you want to hang out with those really cool cats then you can do something like... Go to New Zealand and visit a really awesome couple of friends... That want to see you to. The bonus to that is being in New Zealand since these friends happen to live there. Also, it saves them some fuel money! If it wasn't for making new friends and meeting cool (and incredibly hospitable) people on tour and after, the entire experience wouldn't have been worth it. Stone Henge may have been around for hundreds of years buried under the ground and then brought up but they're just a couple of rocks. You can't have pleasant conversation over a cup of tea with compacted carbon molecules. It's really hard to do.
I have come back with less of a tolerance for illogical social nonsense. These include: Exclusive communities (ie. prejudice of any form) that may be masked as inclusive, second-hand social drama, poor communication between parties.
This also means: Me lighting fireworks- under a bucket- in the middle of a street, arguing, buying candy for friends and stranger.
Have a good time today. I mean it.
1:34
Since Amy and I have left Oakland we've both missed the bay. Even though I never lived there and rather only visited a number of times within the last year I still feel it.
I spent all of today biking around Portland hitting downtown, the Pear district, and the Eliot district. Tomorrow is probably going to be the district I've always headed to the most in P-town: the Richmond and South Tabor district. For those who don't know, that is the district that Southeast Division Street runs through and also is the same area that the Artistery is around. Most of this is dependent on weather or not it rains or not.
Forecast says it will rain though.
--
While I was on the last bike ride of the day a thought occurred to me. I've been traveling since early November- almost five months- and it's something that not many people I know have done who are not in bands. Most of the cats I know are in an educational institution of some sort or work that leads them to be hindered from the nonsense they may want to pursue. Such as traveling. There are also many people (some I know, many I don't) who have developed a particular comfort in there lives that lead them not to pursue certain immediate or non-immediate goals. I'm going to be a bit around the radar on this.
It's apparent that, yes, going to school and finishing a degree is a big deal. It just is! You're expected to do it by the higher ups in your family, it's a societal expectation, it's a self concern that may give you a little voice that says "I need an education to be successful." Success being financially or maybe doing something you've always been fairly interested in that is a self goal for you. If you're into science then perhaps you want to discover some sciencey stuff; Humanitarian work maybe you want to help your community or Pakistani domestic abuse victims (if I stayed in London for longer I actually could have done something with that).
So you have this four year university degree you're going to work on and if you're on the right track you may be done with it by age twenty-two. Some people take a year off or a bit less than that to figure themselves out and what they might want to spend the next few years achieving. So given this, there is a pressure to stay in school and not mosey around.
I view school as a project at this point. I never considered it as that until the Summer of 2007 but it made sense after it happened. This summer was when I would have my AAS in computer programming (three programming certificates as well) and my depression would be at an incredible high, which led to be the beginnings of my very own existential crisis.
This is very important:
My ability initially leave was based off the fact that "I have nothing to lose." It was a very empowering feeling once realized that there was virtually nothing tethering me to anything.
I hardly had any friends who would call me (I recall my dear friend Bryant being about the only one), Jenn would be the only one to invite me to any events (mainly Friendship City shows), I didn't have a girlfriend, my depression was affecting my personal projects (if I didn't have to be anywhere I would lay in bed), and my academics were suffering dramatically.
Yet the "nothing to lose" may be empowering but it is out of a deeper feeling of being incredibly lonely and without the sense of belonging. I didn't see a change in what was happening between the beginning of the Summer and when I left after Halloween. This isn't just a feeling but more of quick question based off of deductive logic that if people don't want to hang out with this guy, Kenneth, then does this Kenneth character have any solid friends.
My initial departure was supposed to be something where I just tell the few close friends I have/had in Bellingham that I was leaving indefinitely. This was the plan until dearest Jenn said, "You can't just leave and not tell your friends!" which was then immediately followed by a guilty silence on my part then an change of heart and conversation on that change of heart. I then told a few more people I was leaving and figured that somehow others would find out and resume with there lives. There were a couple of people I didn't get the chance to tell personally- that I did feel bad about- but that just happens.
Then I left, started writing about it, and I imagine that I can assure that life has gradually become better. Aspects of my return and what I have discovered upon my return challenge that but to debatable degrees depending on which variables I may be referring to.
I'm still hopping around because I still don't have anything holding me down. Yet the prospect of coming back to a town that I've grown to opposite admire is not the least bit gleeful of prospects. I see it as a decent back into the nonsense that I bid farewell to in hopes that what I left would work itself out as I would develop from my journey or at least my return might be a good one. We'll see how it rolls out.
I hopped of topic a bit but... Essentially the way I've done this entire travel/enlightenment thing was based of several variables. Circumstance/chance being a big player along with not having any social tethers. You can quit a job or school when you want; It's just paperwork and goodbye's. Someone I know when to Peru for the fall and was able to achieve and follow through with that journey. Whatever way that she was able to do that worked. So already there are two ways to do this traveling thing. One is described in pieced summation and another is unknown but at least something. Probably more ways to get up and go.
--
Traveling around the country (or countries) is grand because you meet people. That's obvious but what makes it grand is keeping those connections with those individuals even after you're no longer with them. Why? Because if you want to hang out with those really cool cats then you can do something like... Go to New Zealand and visit a really awesome couple of friends... That want to see you to. The bonus to that is being in New Zealand since these friends happen to live there. Also, it saves them some fuel money! If it wasn't for making new friends and meeting cool (and incredibly hospitable) people on tour and after, the entire experience wouldn't have been worth it. Stone Henge may have been around for hundreds of years buried under the ground and then brought up but they're just a couple of rocks. You can't have pleasant conversation over a cup of tea with compacted carbon molecules. It's really hard to do.
I have come back with less of a tolerance for illogical social nonsense. These include: Exclusive communities (ie. prejudice of any form) that may be masked as inclusive, second-hand social drama, poor communication between parties.
This also means: Me lighting fireworks- under a bucket- in the middle of a street, arguing, buying candy for friends and stranger.
Have a good time today. I mean it.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
16:56
PST
My adventures continue down to Portland...
Yet when I last left off I was at the Department of Safety helping out with Fontee Fest that Nich and Paul as well as others set up. In summation: It was a blast and many friends were made.
Afterwards though I visited my dear friend Bryant in Bellingham for a couple of hours then drove back down and arrived in the the Tri-Cities at about 1:00 in the morning. I spent about a week there working on a couple of projects, keeping low, spending time with Javier and my grandma, as well as prepped for the upcoming month. Most of the time I just stayed inside at my grandmothers house cooking, eating, and helping her with something if she needed any. For that week I also watched a number of films with two of them being Paul Thomas Anderson films (Magnolia and Boogie Nights).
Hollow Earth Radio, the online radio station I help with, for this month is having two shows during each weekend of this month (March) as a benefit for the station. I decided to help out with this a couple of weeks ago since I was planning to be up in the area for Rebecca & Jake's wedding. The two days I helped were incredibly exciting and brought in some really wonderful folks. The first one was at the Greenhouse in the central district, which I always think is far enough out that there isn't usually going to be a great turnout. This night the band Past Lives and some other excellent bands were playing at the Holy Mountain but despite that variable we had a turnout of about 53 people.
Saturday I spent about six hours in a video shoot before heading over to my favorite bar/venue Rendezvous in Belltown. This was more of meeting new people seeing good friends and forgetting that my dear friend Jenn was coming to the show. This just surprised me more. My friend Alex was the first act, her band called cumulus (it's a variety of cloud). It was a really good set and from what I recall hearing from about two weeks prior up to and after she played was overall positive words and excitement from her performing and after the performance. It was a really good set!
The rest of the night included a band called My Posse Don't Do Homework- who were incredibly ridiculous- Christopher Francis and Shannandoah Davis. Alex, Jenn and her friend Cory, and myself after the show and breakdown of the HER table and such took a look at our friend Kevin's pad in Belltown. It's in a really cool co-op that's only a couple blocks away from the Rendezvous and about five blocks from the Vera Project. He said there was a position open in the co-op. I was kind of tempted and excited about this if it wasn't for the fact that I have to head up to Bellingham for Spring quarter. Also I think there's a couple other houses in Seattle that I'd love to live in but it wouldn't work for this block of time...
The big event that has been in my spotlight for this month and the current New Year was Rebecca & Jake's wedding. Rebecca & Jake are good friends of mine that operate my favorite venue Heathy Time Fun Club (321 discontinued operation a year ago). My initial European return plans were oriented around their wedding but obviously those plans changed. Since they invited me last September I've been incredibly excited about the event.
I had every reason to be excited. It was and probably will be the best wedding of my life. It was so much fun.
For the past few days I was staying with my friends Zach and Jon at the New Crompton. Zach and I drove to the wedding while Jon did his show on the radio station. This was a good idea of me driving anyway on account of being the only one who was fairly sober after the event. Actually... That's not completely true... But in any case everyone had something to drink at some point.
The reception was about seven minutes and then the next three and a half hours was dancing socializing and everyone having a good time. There were some individuals there I hadn't seen since I left and some that I haven't seen for a few weeks. Zach and I spent the next morning tired sore and reminiscing the night prior and continued more of the same when Jon came back from a job interview. Everything was just chopped full of excitement.
--
So at the time of this writing I am sitting inside of my autocoach waiting for my longtime friend Andrew Zeiler to arrive to his house. I'm in Portland for the next few days to scope out the city and spend time with friends. Ryland & Lisa are back from tour this Wednesday and R-swizzle is playing a show at the Artistery on Friday. This is pretty much a special portland visit for them. I hardly ever go to Portland since I don't normally have a reason (like an abundance of friends) to visit. The next few days are probably going to entail some bike-style exploring and scoping out whether or not I dig the city like I should. I do know it does crazy nostalgia to my brain even though I have hardly any memories formed from here.
Something better is sure to come.
PST
My adventures continue down to Portland...
Yet when I last left off I was at the Department of Safety helping out with Fontee Fest that Nich and Paul as well as others set up. In summation: It was a blast and many friends were made.
Afterwards though I visited my dear friend Bryant in Bellingham for a couple of hours then drove back down and arrived in the the Tri-Cities at about 1:00 in the morning. I spent about a week there working on a couple of projects, keeping low, spending time with Javier and my grandma, as well as prepped for the upcoming month. Most of the time I just stayed inside at my grandmothers house cooking, eating, and helping her with something if she needed any. For that week I also watched a number of films with two of them being Paul Thomas Anderson films (Magnolia and Boogie Nights).
Hollow Earth Radio, the online radio station I help with, for this month is having two shows during each weekend of this month (March) as a benefit for the station. I decided to help out with this a couple of weeks ago since I was planning to be up in the area for Rebecca & Jake's wedding. The two days I helped were incredibly exciting and brought in some really wonderful folks. The first one was at the Greenhouse in the central district, which I always think is far enough out that there isn't usually going to be a great turnout. This night the band Past Lives and some other excellent bands were playing at the Holy Mountain but despite that variable we had a turnout of about 53 people.
Saturday I spent about six hours in a video shoot before heading over to my favorite bar/venue Rendezvous in Belltown. This was more of meeting new people seeing good friends and forgetting that my dear friend Jenn was coming to the show. This just surprised me more. My friend Alex was the first act, her band called cumulus (it's a variety of cloud). It was a really good set and from what I recall hearing from about two weeks prior up to and after she played was overall positive words and excitement from her performing and after the performance. It was a really good set!
The rest of the night included a band called My Posse Don't Do Homework- who were incredibly ridiculous- Christopher Francis and Shannandoah Davis. Alex, Jenn and her friend Cory, and myself after the show and breakdown of the HER table and such took a look at our friend Kevin's pad in Belltown. It's in a really cool co-op that's only a couple blocks away from the Rendezvous and about five blocks from the Vera Project. He said there was a position open in the co-op. I was kind of tempted and excited about this if it wasn't for the fact that I have to head up to Bellingham for Spring quarter. Also I think there's a couple other houses in Seattle that I'd love to live in but it wouldn't work for this block of time...
The big event that has been in my spotlight for this month and the current New Year was Rebecca & Jake's wedding. Rebecca & Jake are good friends of mine that operate my favorite venue Heathy Time Fun Club (321 discontinued operation a year ago). My initial European return plans were oriented around their wedding but obviously those plans changed. Since they invited me last September I've been incredibly excited about the event.
I had every reason to be excited. It was and probably will be the best wedding of my life. It was so much fun.
For the past few days I was staying with my friends Zach and Jon at the New Crompton. Zach and I drove to the wedding while Jon did his show on the radio station. This was a good idea of me driving anyway on account of being the only one who was fairly sober after the event. Actually... That's not completely true... But in any case everyone had something to drink at some point.
The reception was about seven minutes and then the next three and a half hours was dancing socializing and everyone having a good time. There were some individuals there I hadn't seen since I left and some that I haven't seen for a few weeks. Zach and I spent the next morning tired sore and reminiscing the night prior and continued more of the same when Jon came back from a job interview. Everything was just chopped full of excitement.
--
So at the time of this writing I am sitting inside of my autocoach waiting for my longtime friend Andrew Zeiler to arrive to his house. I'm in Portland for the next few days to scope out the city and spend time with friends. Ryland & Lisa are back from tour this Wednesday and R-swizzle is playing a show at the Artistery on Friday. This is pretty much a special portland visit for them. I hardly ever go to Portland since I don't normally have a reason (like an abundance of friends) to visit. The next few days are probably going to entail some bike-style exploring and scoping out whether or not I dig the city like I should. I do know it does crazy nostalgia to my brain even though I have hardly any memories formed from here.
Something better is sure to come.
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